Surprises Of The Good Sort
by Hedonistic Opportunist
Summary: In which Sasuke misses Naruto too much. NaruSasuNaru. Lime.


**Surprises Of The Good Sort**

_Author's Notes: _

Hmm, this piece just seems to be faring really badly. I've gone through it a few times now, and I'm not sure whether to keep this here or not. If you do read this, please tell me -- honestly -- what you thought.

---

Naruto stepped into the pub with a groan. He groaned even more when a smell of something like puss and sweaty old grime attacked his nose, turning his face green in a matter of seconds. Gods, he felt like puking and he'd only been here for a minute at best.

Stupid Sasuke and his standards for proper hygiene. All of this was rubbing off on Naruto, and turning him into an utter pansy. Soon, he'd probably start picking up flowers and frolic through the fields gaily like Gai and Lee did.

Man, now this gorgeous imagery really did make him want to vomit.

Oh well. He wouldn't puke. Sakura would have punched him a good one onto his groin, and even though she wasn't here, Naruto's fear of her was so big and great that he avoided doing things that angered her, even if she wasn't – as already mentioned – present. Naruto had this intense fear that she'd pop out of nowhere and send him flying into the nearest wall.

He threw a quick, furtive glance at the people present in the pub, and he felt immediately like puking even more: hideous old fishermen -- they smelt like fish -- were scratching their private parts, chewing on God knew what and were -- in general -- the ugliest things ever.

Naruto wisely decided to change his chain of thoughts. Or better said, he decided to not worry his poor brains at all anymore, and instead take a seat. So, he took a seat, after he'd somehow found his way through the smoke-enshrouded pub to a little table in a remote corner, far removed from the tobacco-smoking, groin- rubbing and whisky-drinking fishermen.

Why, he'd chosen this pub to spend the night in of all possible places was fairly simple. Firstly, it was pouring cats and dogs outside (not literally – of course – you just got soaked to the bone, if you stayed out too long), and secondly, Naruto wasn't feeling all that hot. He was feeling the very reverse, to be honest.

"Shit," Naruto muttered loudly, and coughed even louder. His throat felt raw, and he was pretty sure that he looked like shit. He was probably ashen-faced, and more than a little haggard-looking. All in all, he just didn't look as awesome as he usually did.

He shouldn't have taken the mission. Of course, when he'd first taken it, he'd thought he'd be feeling a little better. Tsunade, Sakura, Sasuke and few collective other people had warned him, but he'd kept on insisting. All the screaming and threats of violence hadn't worked on him. After all, the promise of easily earned money wasn't something Naruto could say no to. He'd just eaten too little ramen ever since Sasuke – the veritable bastard – had completely turned Naruto's life topsy-turvy by deciding to move in with him (well, it had been more like him just showing up with his bags packed, and a fist pointed at Naruto's face, if he dared as much as to protest).

Of course, Naruto hadn't protested. Living with Sasuke meant more sex, and waking up next to Sasuke in that awfully romantic way (seeing the person you love in all his naked glory, sleeping peacefully wasn't a sight to be missed) was nice, but ... Naruto still sighed when he remembered what living with Sasuke exactly meant.

For the past part it was nice, only that Sasuke seemed to have a big problem with ramen. The first thing he'd done after officially moving in was burn – yes, really burn – all the storage of ramen boxes Naruto had owned. So, yeah, Naruto was a little out of ramen, and the only way he could get it these days was by buying it himself.

So, he'd taken this mission after – as already mentioned – a lot of protests from well-meaning, albeit violently inclined people.

_It's only a little cold_, he'd insisted. A little cold couldn't stop Naruto Uzumaki from doing his duty, even if in this case, the main duty had mainly consisted of protecting a man from being assassinated by his own wife. Musashi, a rich merchant, had been chased nearly all over the continent by his wife after she'd caught him in a comprising situation with their – surprise, surprise – male neighbour. Unfortunately, the guy had only realised that he had an inclination towards the male gender after he'd married. And as the woman had been born to an Amazon-like ninja clan of females, she was quite strong and more than capable of castrating men.

So, Naruto had spent the past few days running away with the poor Musashi guy through rain, storm and sunshine. And things had only calmed down when he'd finally managed to knock some sense into the man's wife. No, Naruto wouldn't have taken on a fight with a woman under normal circumstances, but those had been quite abnormal circumstances, rest assured.

Anyhow, as a price for his all his noble suffering, Naruto had come down with a nasty cold and, no, Kyuubi couldn't heal him from it. Somehow that creature, ever since Naruto had learnt how to tame it, had developed some kind of bitchy personality and refused to heal him unless it was something life-threatening.

And now he was stuck here, even though he just wanted to make a run for it. However, a quick glance at the window, which revealed nothing but dark clouds and water drops falling harshly on the window-pane, told him shit had really hit the fan.

The big water-drops pattering _splash splash_ on the window-glass were just there to remind Naruto how much he was itching to just rise from this way too hard seat and disappear from this rotting hell-hole of a pub.

_Shit, I'm not going to get out today_, he thought, and sighed in utter defeat. He could have been on his way home by now, had it not been for the damned rain, and the equally damnable cold. Naruto rolled his eyes, and, with his head leaning on his palm, thought of home.

"Hey, do you want something?" a voice barked into his ears, and Naruto jumped in startled fright. Damn, that person could haven't been subtler, he thought dismissively and eyed the git wearily through half-squinted eyes. The fucking smoke in this place was just way too heavy, and Naruto had to keep his eyes half-closed, or he'd have ended up half-blind the next day.

It was a youngish man, though the moustache he was sporting was obviously a poor attempt at making him appear older. Whatever. He wore a grimy, stained and worn out clock, shirt or whatever it was supposed to be. Naruto couldn't tell what it was, for fuck's sake.

Apparently, he'd also not taken a bath in ages, and this made Naruto think that he better order something soon. The man's presence made him want to retch again.

"Just some water, please," Naruto spat out, and tried to ignore the baffled look the man threw at him.

"Water? You kidding me, man? Nobody orders water around here – only losers with no balls."

"Fine, make it a pint of beer then," Naruto interrupted through gritted teeth, and the man nodded gaily before retreating wherever he'd come from. Which, according to Naruto, must have been the very depths of hell itself. Or the island of morons and gibbering idiots – wherever that was.

Of course, the man, being a waiter from hell, meant that the service was infernally slow. So, Naruto found himself, in the midst of coughing and groaning, that an at least an hour passed before he was presented with his drink.

"Here you go," the waiter said, smirking and baring his ugly yellow fangs.

"Why thank you," Naruto said through gritted teeth. A dead fly was floating on top of his "drink". Fantastic service, indeed.

Naruto just shook his head, and continued to watch how the rain continued to fall mercilessly upon the world.

...

Naruto didn't know how long he'd been in the pub already. The awful old fishermen had left the pub, and it was growing darker and darker outside. Naruto could slowly tell that he was going to have to leave soon. Or not. Maybe, they kept the place open night and day. He didn't know.

Naruto felt someone rudely tap on his shoulder. It was practically a punch, and infuriated him more than anything else could have done. Didn't people have manners these days? Not that he was the poster-kid for good manners himself, but that didn't matter right now.

"Look, it's fucking rain-"

Naruto turned around, and his anger turned to surprise when he noticed that it was Sasuke, of all people. A little soaked, and more than disgruntled-looking than a cat in heat perhaps, but still the same old Sasuke he woke up to every day.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto spat out, more than a little stupefied. Sasuke was supposed to be at home in Konoha, throwing furious death-glares at the wall or spend time indulging in his favourite hobby, which – of course – was brooding. He wasn't supposed to be here, looking positively murderous and well, -- murderous. Naruto had never been good with words.

"I could ask you the same, moron."

The icy tone more than implied that Sasuke was beyond furious. Naruto, paling immediately, comprehended what Sasuke was thinking. Of course, Sasuke always thought the wrong things of Naruto.

"I'm on a mission!" Naruto returned angrily, and only then he realised how stupid it sounded. Naruto saw how Sasuke's perceptive eyes wandered from the glass of beer he was holding in his hand to his now stupidly grinning face, and Sasuke's eyes narrowed even more.

"_Interesting mission_," Sasuke then said coolly, and took a seat opposite of Naruto. He apparently wasn't done with Naruto yet. He was going to remain seated here in that accusatory manner of his until Naruto cracked and apologised. Only that Naruto, this time, didn't feel he had anything to apologise for. Right, because it was so his fault that it had to rain today of all days, that he was ill, and wasn't all too hot on getting any sicker than he already was.

"Look, this isn't what it - ... fuck," Naruto paused as he had to cough loudly and violently. His voice was hoarse when he spoke again," ... I meant to come home, but it's raining. And you can see that I'm -"

Naruto couldn't finish the sentence because he coughed again, and he then cursed. He was shaking like a leaf by now, and Naruto was sure that he'd never looked worse than. His matted, unwashed hair was practically falling into his face, and he'd not shaved in a few days. As a consequence, he'd grown a stubble, and Sasuke hated that -- he always said that it scratched his skin when they kissed or something equally pathetic. Well, at least, Naruto wasn't filthy. He'd taken a bath, and wasn't covered in grime or anything.

Sasuke eyes had softened – not noticeably, but Naruto could spot the difference. He ceased to look like a disgruntled asshole who had a stick shoved up... it wasn't worth continuing that thought, but Sasuke looked less murderous now.

"See that's why you shouldn't have taken that mission."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "A little cold-"

"Won't kill you, I know. You said that at least twenty times," Sasuke finished effortlessly and Naruto gaped at him like a fish, wondering when Sasuke had become a mind-reader. But then Sasuke had always been uncommonly good at reading him and maybe Naruto just wasn't as secretive as he'd always wished to be.

"Then it's understood. Why are you gloating at me now?" Naruto asked, throwing his hands up in the air. But Naruot had forgotten that he'd been holding his pint of beer in one hand, and that, of course, spilled over his trousers. Naruto yelped and jumped up again. He was lucky that he hadn't spilled something like hot coca over his pants, but it was still awkward. He could feel the contents of his drink soaked his thighs and Naruto felt like he'd wetted himself. He turned red.

Sasuke sighed loudly, and shook his head. "You're such a pathetic-"

"Shut up! Those are my favourite pants," Naruto shot back, and made a face. He'd worn those pants since he'd been made a jounin and Sasuke just couldn't understand that, seeing that he was a cold-hearted bastard.

Sasuke stood up, and pulled Naruto by the wrists. "Come on. I'll help you wash it out – in the bathroom."

...

Naruto was surprised that the bathroom wasn't anywhere near as filthy as he'd expected it to be. So, maybe it didn't meet the standards of some luxurious hotel, but the walls weren't covered in green sticky slime nor were there any cockroaches anywhere.

Naruto leaned against the wall, next to a basin, and watched how Sasuke took some toilet paper and wetted it. He winced when he felt the cold paper being applied to his already wet pants.

"God, you're just making the pants wetter," Naruto complained.

"Shut it. Be glad I'm willing to help you out at all," Sasuke retorted and continued to apply the wet bits and pieces of toilet paper onto the place where Naruto had spilled the contents of his drink. Sasuke cleaned Naruto's pants like he did anything else – he worked meticulously and precisely, pausing only every now and then to see whether his work was bearing any fruit.

Naruto, however, didn't view this quite as practically Sasuke did. The hands that kept rubbing suspiciously close to his groin made his pulse quicken. Naruto felt butterflies forming in his stomach, and an uncomfortable need was arising within him. He was starting to feel more and more excited. Naruto felt incredibly restless, and closed his eyes.

This was turning out to be _dangerous_.

"Fuck, stop it," Naruto hissed out, his cheeks flaming up, in spite of himself. He really was an idiot getting excited because of something trivial like this. But then Sasuke was really too good at – well, rubbing. Damn, those talented hands.

Sasuke paused. "Why- I thought you'd -_oh._"

Naruto looked away, and bit his underlip. He clenched his fist, and cursed at his own foul luck. "It's only because you're so good with your hands, bastard."

Sasuke snorted, and Naruto turned to face him again. He saw that Sasuke was smirking in an unholy way. Naruto choked. He hoped that Sasuke was thinking what he was thinking, but he couldn't be sure. He'd once or twice mistaken that grin as an invitation for sex when it hadn't been and the consequences had been not so nice. Sasuke didn't react very well to people pouncing on him unexpectedly.

You were very lucky if you got out of it with a broken nose. Naruto hadn't. He'd nearly had to be hospitalised once, and had it taken quite a bit to convince Sasuke that castration wasn't the best solution to the problem at hand. Of course, he'd also not forget to mention that it would quite a devastating blow to their sex life if he – Naruto – weren't in possession of his manhood anymore.

Naruto cursed. This was going to be bad. Sasuke would kill him for being perverted in such an innocuous situation like this. Then again, ever since he'd started sleeping with Sasuke, nothing between them was innocent in his eyes. Sasuke was way too tempting. Naruto cursed internally again. Sasuke was right: he _was_ a shameless pervert.

But then he heard his zip being pulled down, and Naruto sent out a thank you to the Heavens or whatever made this possible. This was perfect. Well, it would have been perfect if Sasuke would have done something. But he wasn't. Cold air surrounded his cock, and Naruto was about to protest when Sasuke's lips finally took his painfully throbbing arousal into his mouth.

"Fuck", Naruto grunted out, and his head slammed against the wall. It hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the sensation of Sasuke's lips on his cock. It sounded utterly perverted maybe, but the very thought of the so utterly proud Sasuke giving Naruto a blowjob in a public of all places was just too much to bear.

Kiba would have loved it. He'd have – unimportant.

Naruto decided that this wasn't perhaps the best thing to think about right now. Not when Sasuke was working so hard at pleasuring him at the moment -- Kiba really had no place in his thoughts right now.

No, this was about him and Sasuke. Only him and Sasuke – and Naruto would have done nothing to change that.

Sasuke started out slowly, doing nothing more than just sucking lightly, and nearly gingerly – like someone who was doing this for the first time. Naruto felt annoyed by this, thinking that it was a bit of a downer when he knew that Sasuke could do much better. Not that this was bad, just too infuriatingly slow. Sasuke's slow and deliberate licking was pure torture. Naruto needed more, and was going to lose his mind if Sasuke didn't finally do something more stimulating.

"Come on," Naruto urged on, and hold on tightly to Sasuke's hair, which felt so damned soft and thick in his hands. Though it wasn't soft as say Sakura's hair (he'd touched it once under pretence of wanting to try something out).

Sasuke stopped for a second, only to say: "Stop gripping my hair so hard, idiot. It hurts."

Somewhere, Naruto was sure someone was laughing out loud, and mocking him and his problems incessantly. Naruto felt like cursing. _That stupid fucke_r -- Sasuke shouldn't be the one complaining. If anyone should be complaining it was him. Not Sasuke.

"Sasuke, come on. Don't tease," Naruto whined, and bit his lips. He was so close, so damned close and Sasuke was making this way too troublesome.

"Wait," Sasuke said, and pushed Naruto down onto the floor. Naruto was confused and wanted to protest, but he lost any sense of coherence when Sasuke sucked faster now, occasionally using his free hand to massage something Naruto couldn't even think about without blushing. He shouldn't have, but then Sasuke didn't do this often. Also, Sasuke was using his teeth, lightly scraping the head of Naruto's cock with them. It nearly sent Naruto over the edge.

Sasuke hadn't ever done _that _before.

And the fact that he did it now made Naruto's heart beat quite wildly and pulse quicken. He was sweating profusely as well. But it ended all too quickly when Naruto came with a groan. His head collided against the hard tiles of the wall, and he breathed quickly. Sasuke, however, groaned in what was apparent disgust. Naruto swallowed audibly. He hadn't come ins-

Oh fuck, he had and hadn't had the audacity to warn Sasuke beforehand.

Damn it, Naruto now remembered why Sasuke didn't like this too much.

"Sorry," Naruto said somewhat awkwardly, and coughed. He swore that he was blushing once more, and he wanted to kick something again. This wasn't supposed to be this ... yeah, awkward. But then Naruto thought of something that would make Sasuke happy again. He knew what Sasuke needed, and hoped that Sasuke had in mind what he had in mind now.

"So? How about I fu-"

Sasuke threw a wet piece of toilet paper at him. Naruto immediately understood what that meant. The grin faded from his face, and he pouted.

"Oh come on, Sasuke," he pleaded.

"You're really a moron if you think I'd have sex with you here," Sasuke replied coolly, and Naruto immediately felt like crying. Talk about disappointment. Not that Naruto was sorely disappointed. He'd just been given a blowjob by Sasuke in a public bathroom of all things. He would make sure to tell Sakura about it who'd been placing bets that Sasuke would never ever let his cool façade crack in public.

Well, she'd been wrong. Sasuke had. Too bad he wasn't willing to do more though, but for now Naruto was satisfied. More than satisfied, really.

Naruto could hear water running from the tap and was certain that Sasuke was washing his face now. The magic was over. He sighed loudly, and briefly closed his eyes. The ground was cold, and his head hurt from when he'd collided with the hard wall. When he stood up, it was on shaky feet. Naruto zipped his pants back up after he'd taken measure to clean himself up as good as possible. It was a bit crude, but oh well – they were in a public bathroom, after all.

Sasuke looked as impeccable as always again, apart from the fact that his hair looked more like a bird's nest than usual. Still, other than that, nothing betrayed him. Naruto shook his head. Sasuke was really too much of an anal-retentive bastard. Then again, it was one of the things he loved about him. After all, it made Sasuke what he was.

"I expect more though when we get home," Naruto said, and flashed a not so innocent grin towards Sasuke's direction. He would have waggled his eyebrows, but he'd learnt that Sasuke detested it. Besides, there was no need to ruin the moment they were having right now – not that it was very romantic, mind you.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Naruto knew what was going to come next.

"No, I expect full payment in return. Your fault for making me wait for so long."

Naruto just grinned broadly. He was more than fine with that. And yes, he'd make sure that Sasuke would get the treatment he deserved – and that would be lovely for both of them. He'd make sure of _that_, all right.

---


End file.
